Me and my PCOS

For 12 years of my life I have been aware of my PCOS condition, from the age of 14 I first noticed the signs. After my very first doctors appointment I already felt the severity it held and the impact it would have on my future then, even at such a young age. I remember sitting in the car after we left the doctors surgery and sitting in silence until I began to ask my mom questions with tears building in my eyes. I was just a teenager who was yet to have her first boyfriend, her first of most experiences, not sure of what she wanted in life and yet at that very point that day, I realised how the possibility of not being able to have children would affect me.

So what is PCOS for those of you out there who may never have heard of it, or are new to their diagnosis? PCOS or Polycystic ovary syndrome is a common condition that affects how a woman’s ovaries work. 

If you do have signs and symptoms of PCOS, they’ll usually become apparent during your late teens or early twenties. They can include:

• irregular periods or no periods at all (how I first discovered my condition),
• difficulty getting pregnant as a result of irregular ovulation or failure to ovulate (my fear), 
• excessive hair growth,
• weight gain,
• thinning hair and hair loss from the head
• oily skin or acne

Although every case is different and not every one shows all signs and symptoms of the condition, including myself.  The exact cause of PCOS is unknown, but it often runs in families. Although there is no cure for PCOS the symptoms can be treated (I would suggest you speak to your GP if you think you may have the condition).

Flash forward a period of time I then began to be tested, hospital visits to the gynecology department were never very fun for an insecure, shy girl that I was at the time. I found the whole process a little invasive at that age, it gave me a great deal of anxiety at the time to have someone touching the lower part of my stomach and to be having ultrasound scans being done. But it confirmed everything we suspected at the time. The only real advice I was given was to loose a little weight (again not great for my teenage self esteem) as it helps the condition and symptoms, and I was immediately put on the contraceptive pill, in my case to induce regular periods. 12 years later and I’m still on those pills, bar a brief year long stint in which I managed 1 measly period adding to additional fears around ovulation and fertility, not that at the time it seemed like something I should concern myself with too much.

However it does now. 12 years on and I’m in a relationship and a very serious one at that, we have been living together for three years in a home we bought and are under two months away from tying the knot. I knew very early into our relationship that I could see myself having children with Richard, seeing his childhood photos only intensified those feelings. We’ve spoken at great length of having children one day, about what our approaches would be, how many, what kind of parents and grandparents we would be. To open up to Rich about my condition early on in the relationship was one of the most anxious experiences of my life, he welcomed the news with grace and respect and comforted me about it dearly, I knew even more so he was the one.

Fast forward to now, with our wedding date fast approaching those feelings are becoming ever more stronger, conversations about pregnancy plans are coming closer, it doesn’t seem like such a distant goal anymore. However my anxieties hadn’t lessened, that’s when we decided to take a proactive approach and begin investigating the severity of my condition and whether it had increased as my menstrual pains have intensified over the years from uncomfortable to unbearable on occasions, even with my high pain tolerance. So we set up an appointment and the testing began, a full MOT of blood tests, an ultrasound and an internal exam (not at all pleasant).

‘The gift of life’ – Snapshot outside of the hematology department after my blood tests were taken during the investigating stage. 

Me and Richard on route to the hospital for testing, feeling thankful for his support with appointments during this process.

GP guidance and MOT blood test slip in top left of picture.

Over a month later I finally received my results due to under staffing and my GP surgery moving locations my results had gotten delayed. We were both pretty anxious to receive the results at the time however I was relieved to discover I was in perfect health. My condition was of a manageable level and it seemed my condition had not deteriorated over the past 12 years, however my main concern was the fact that because I am on the contraceptive pill due to inducing periods, it is likely I am unable to ovulate on my own and with still being on the pill they are unable to accurately read those levels as the pill will be leveling them out for me.

So where does this leave us? Well it would seem that I’m on the right track, my body is in good health, i’m at a good weight and when we are at the right time to start officially trying for a family they will begin investigating once again when the pill is out of my system. It is there that if I am unable to conceive they will begin testing and potentially putting me on some form of hormone medication and further to that if it doesn’t induce ovulation, although I’m assured it would help, that they would then offer us three attempts at IVF. I still fear the worst and the unknown, but I feel so much better for beginning the process and getting myself checked out. It doesn’t feel completely hopeless anymore, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for me fulfilling my desire to be in the role of mother and our desire to be a family unit.

So here’s to the next chapter of our lives, our married life and hopefully one day to family life! If you are going through something similar, or have the same anxieties, I’d love to share thoughts with you, it often helps to speak with people in the same circumstances as you. If there is also anyone out there who has the condition and has managed to conceive i’d love to hear your story, please do reach out!

Lisa x